Chapter 3: It Festers (Page 24)
When I started this comic, it was to chase the webcomic trend and craze. I picked the wrong time to do that because I was a 34 year old new parent, ten years into his career in finance. As the comic progressed, I began to redefine the "why" that drove the comic. The why slowly changed into "I want this comic to be an artistic journal. It must be a chronicle of my artistic progress in a way that I can see my growth with this skill." The reason that I love this and the previous page is because they are the first time I felt that I achieved that.
Cell shading is a style I kept being seduced by yet when I tried it, it felt like I crashed my ship into a sea of jagged rocks. "Cut & grad" was my comfort zone and cell shading's hard edges jarred me. As I progressed with my various colouring styles through the comic, I came back to cell shading for Page 23 and this time around it stuck. I don't know what I did differently; I don't know if I even did something differently. All that I know is that I did it and actually felt satisfaction and joy instead of feeling a jarring feeling like I was a poser trying too hard. This is what I am referring to when I speak of the comic being a medium for my artistic journey.
I am two pages away from finishing this chapter. It has been a long marathon on this one and I was shocked to see that I've been working on this chapter and trickling out pages for two years now. That is incredibly unacceptable and unforgiveable by online content creation standard and I would feel like a failure if that's what I was doing this for. Fortunately my time with my own thoughts, being honest with myself, helped me because that's not why I do this comic.
The moment that I saw that I am winning at the reason I do this comic is when my five year old son looked at the first panel and almost assertively said "That's me!". My heart jumped right into my throat, at that moment, and I gazed at my son with the smile a father can only have, when they are overwhelmed with love for their child, and said "That's right, my boy. It is you."
This is why I do this comic.